A farmer family’s choice
Here’s a real story that has been in mind for years.
I know a farmer family who jointly own about 300 acres of fertile land on the outskirts of a city in India. Decades ago, this was all green fields, water channels, and small tobacco barns. But over time as the city grew, the value of land exponentially rose – now worth crores of rupees (millions of dollars). Every other week, property developers approached them to buy parcels of land for apartments and malls.
But here’s what surprised me most. This family had filed multiple property dispute suits against each other. They had privately instructed their lawyers to drag the cases forever if needed. Not because they want a larger share of land. But because they didn’t want anyone – including themselves and their own children – become victims of greed and sell the land. And to this day, they just do one thing that they have always been doing: work on the land – growing grains, vegetables, tending to their coconut groves, and managing the water supply. They have invested in tractors and machinery instead of bulls and ploughs, but they still continue to till the lands. In person.
It’s not that they don’t want money. Their agricultural income is sufficient for their family, it’s tax free, and probably they would be happy with more. But they also have seen what wealth can do. Some of their neighbours split and sold off their lands – living in smaller parcels or bought luxury cars and apartments in the city. But when you speak to this family, you can actually see the power of their will. They just love the daily grind. They love waking up before dawn and walking to their fields. They love tending to their crops and removing weeds. They even love mending the broken fences.
I have often wondered why they held on to their lands so fiercely. Maybe it was about identity. Or tradition. But after reading Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s work on flow, in hindsight I think it was something far simpler. That family had found that rare state where work was a natural extension of their life. They just want to live life they have been doing.
The urge to escape
Most people – be it in cities or villages – don’t have the same feelings about work. Instead, they spend hours every week thinking about finishing their work. They say they will be happier when the weekend arrives, or when they move on to another role, another company, or another career path. They think life will be more meaningful once they have more free time for themselves.
In my OpEx coaching conversations, I come across these from my coachees:
- “I want to take a break and figure out what I really want.”
- “I am tired of this routine.”
- “I feel like I am not getting the right growth here.”
And I understand it. Our workplaces can feel repetitive after the initial few months. The usual targets, meetings, reports- very soon you will stop seeing the difference between months. You will start feeling that you are doing the same things over and over.
And that’s when your energy hits a low. And you look for a way out.
But here is an interesting question: Does the frequent desire to escape from work solve the problem? Or is it taking away something that we had learned to enjoy?
What research shows
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (MC), Hungarian-American psychologist and the proponent and author of “Flow” spent decades studying how people felt at different times of the day. He used a method called experience sampling, where people carried a pager that beeped randomly. Every time it beeped, the participants had to write down what they were doing and how they felt.
The findings were surprising. People had reported that they were more engaged, alert, and satisfied when they were working more often than when they were at home or on holidays or being entertained.
Yet, when asked what they would rather be doing, most people still said they preferred leisure. They wanted to be somewhere else, even though their experience was better during work.
This is the paradox of work and leisure. We feel more alive when the challenges were higher, skills are in use, and attention is focused. But during leisure – watching TV, sunbathing or drinking with people – there is a tendency to be bored after the initial excitement.
But we still wish to escape the challenge.
Why we resist work
There are a few reasons.
Firstly, we see work as an obligation. It’s been our culture. Right from childhood, we have been hearing our caregivers say:
- “Finish your work, then you can relax.”
- “You have to work hard to make a living.”
- “There is no substitute for hard work”
See how work is referenced as a burden. That if we work, we will attain our goal, i.e. leisure or pleasure. Which means, work is only the means and not a goal in itself.
And no wonder we carry this idea into adulthood. Even when we enjoy the work, we keep thinking that it should not be enjoyable. In other words, if we begin to feel good about our work, there must be something wrong with us.
Secondly, most companies focus on output, not on the experiential aspects of work. Most managers care about their targets, not if people are feeling challenged enough in a good way (positive stress). Hence, employees do not have any sense of ownership.
Thirdly, leisure looks more glamorous from the outside. Especially when you see ads showing your compatriots sunbathing in the Caribbean, skiing in the Alps or snorkelling in the Galapagos islands. When you’re tired, the idle scrolling through someone else’s vacation photos or achievements feels easier than staying present with your work.
What 'flow' really means
MC described flow as a state where you are fully immersed in whatever you are doing. Where time stands still. You feel challenged as well as capable at the same time. Your mind does not go wandering.
The following conditions need to be met to experience flow:
- Your goals are clear
- You are getting immediate feedback of the work
- The tasks should be neither too easy nor too hard
- You have a sense of control / ownership over the tasks
- You are fully involved in the process
The farmers I spoke about earlier would have been experiencing these every day / moment. They have daily goals – to see if their plants are growing or not. They get immediate feedback – the crops have either grown, or they haven’t. They adjust their methods as per the need. The work is quite demanding but they have the skills. They own the land and everything in it. So, they control it.
Most importantly, they have autonomy. They can decide how to spend their day.
The illusion of freedom
Many professionals dream of quitting their jobs to find something better. Some do it. They take a sabbatical or switch industries or career paths. Sometimes this brings new energy.
But most likely, after the initial excitement, the typical feelings are back – the feelings of restlessness, boredom, that missing mojo.
This is because the problem was never only about the work. It was also the mindset – that work is a means to other goals. The job is a prison instead of a practice pitch.
So, when people get the freedom they have been seeking, very soon they realise that the very same freedom now feels hollow. Freedom usually means – watching TV/Movies/Web Series, holidaying, casual shopping. And that does not feel like flow.
Operational Excellence and Flow
In my own consulting and coaching engagements, I have seen how Operational Excellence can help create the conditions for flow.
When it’s done right, process improvement does not just remove waste from the process – it also creates clarity. It sets clear goals – daily, weekly, monthly, whatever period. It defines how success can be measured. It enables people to see the impact of their work immediately.
For example, in a factory setting, Lean methods help workers understand where their effort is impacting the whole system. In a service environment, visual management, performance dashboards or team huddles can provide instant feedback.
But systems and technology alone do not suffice. People need to solve problems creatively and take ownership. And that space needs to be created by leaders. Without that space, process improvement feels like compliance. And compliance rarely produces flow.
Building flow into your typical day
If / when you feel like escaping from work on any day, here are some thoughts to consider before you decide to head for the Himalayas:
- Look for smaller challenges
Is there any part of your work that you can improve? Say even upstream or downstream activities? Maybe someone is using a better method of doing the same work, maybe there is an opportunity to automate a step, or even coach a colleague. These small challenges help renew your own sense of purpose. And gratitude from the others. - Find clear measures of progress.
For work to feel like flow, there needs to be immediate feedback. If there is no option for this in your job currently, see if you can create it. Track how long you or others take to complete any task. Focus on the core work. Look for the percentage of good output (positive metric – instead of error rate). Even simple checklists or excel dashboards can help. - Reconnect with why your work matters.
Introspect about who benefits when you do your job well? A customer? A team member? Your family? Reminding yourself regularly about this makes you feel grateful for the work. - Create those moments of autonomy.
Even in well-structured work environments, there are certain spaces that allow you to make choices. You can decide how you start your day. You can decide the order of tasks you want to work on. These small freedoms and victories count towards flow. - Learn to notice when you are in flow.
Sometimes we do not realise that we are enjoying ourselves at work. This is because of our acquired expectations that enjoyment is only when we are not working. A test for this is: notice those days when time moved quickly, and you never felt bored. Those are flow days in action.
When you need a change anyhow
Of course, we cannot expect every workplace to support flow – because that is an ideal state, and expecting ideal states is irrational as per psychology. Also, some jobs themselves are poorly designed – have you seen how leaders create roles to fit their personal goals. (They haven’t felt flow surely). And some leaders are either controlling or neglectful. If you have spent sufficient time and find that there is really no room to grow or you are feel psychologically unsafe, then no amount of mindset change can compensate those situations.
In such cases, it actually makes better sense to look out for a better environment. But even then, remember that flow is partly about context and partly about attitude.
If you happen to carry a passive mindset from one role to another, then that pattern keeps repeating. And the feeling of restlessness or ennui (I love using this word) returns.
For my fellow leaders, consultants and coaches
If you happen to lead teams or are consulting in process improvement, here are some ways you can use these insights:
- When you help create new workflows, ask whether the process allows people to see their contribution and get feedback
- Always make space for learning within the process. Even small experiments help people feel engaged
- Recognise and celebrate examples of simple flow – like when someone has gained a new skill or solved a tough problem
- Avoid creating environments where the only motivation is compliance or ‘fear of failure’
Closing Thoughts
I often think about that farmer family. Standing in the court to protect their land, not because of greed but because of their love for the work. They don’t want to be seen achieving a success that holds no meaning for them.
Their story is a gentle reminder that in most cases, the thing we are trying to escape from is the thing where we get out strength from. Try relating this to failed relationships at work or home.
When you look for flow, you could find that that you actually don’t need a new career or a grand holiday. You might just need to find a way to reconnect with the purpose, challenge, and control that is already available in your work. Which you hadn’t done earlier.
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